Crossed out
by Poly
Summary: -COMPLETE- When two goddesses take things a bit too far. It might explain why there are so many Ranma crossovers.


Title: Crossed out

Author: Poly

A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2. The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the property of Takahashi Rumiko and her licensees. 'Knight rider' are owned by their respective licensees.

* * *

"Well, well. Are you building more of your toys, squirt?" A sultry voice said. The voice belonged to a tanned voluptuous woman with long white hair and strange facial markings.

"Stop pestering me, you old hag." A girl responded. The girl looked like she was in her early teens and had long black hair. She had similar facial markings as the older woman.

Urd, goddess 2nd class, limited, decided to let the remark pas. "What are you building anyway?" she asked.

Skuld narrowed her eyes while eyeing her older sister. She decided it wouldn't hurt to answer the question. "It's a reality cross index categorizer."

Urd raised an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

Skuld went into full teaching mode. She gestured to the contraption in front of her. It looked like a TV screen with lots of buttons on one side and wires sticking out. "Let me introduce you to the R.C.I.C. 2000, the latest in administrative advancement."

Urd just looked at the weird contraption. "It looks like the TV from the living room." She said.

Skuld looked a little embarrassed. "Actually, it is the TV. from the living room."

Urd sighed. "So, what is it supposed to do?"

"Let me show you." Skuld said. She pushed a couple of buttons on the side of the screen and a message lit up on the screen.

… ENTER BASE REALITY …

"You can enter a base reality in the machine here." She pointed to a number of digit buttons. "And the screen will let you watch that reality." She promptly 

entered a number sequence. The screen lit up and showed a bird's eye view of the grounds of a traditional Japanese dojo.

Urd just looked at it for a moment. "Isn't that one of the Ranma realities? what's so special about being able to view that?"

"That's were it gets interesting." Skuld said. "You can enter a second set of coordinates here and the machine will be able to cross reverence the two realities with any command you would like. For example if you want to find two people of similar characteristics the machine will examine the secondary reality and compare it with the base reality and give the most appropriate match."

"hmmmm. Interesting." Urd mumbled. "Let me try." The goddess of the past quickly entered a second set of coordinates into the key pad before Skuld could react. The younger goddess shrieked. "What did you do that for?! I'm not finished with it yet."

"Oops." Urd said.

A message flickered on screen.

… Reality cross in progress …

… Ready …

The two goddesses looked at the screen in trepidation.

"Your in a lot of trouble you know that." Skuld said with a glare.

* * *

Splash!

"Oh no! honored Customer fell into cursed spring of drowned panda. Now who ever fall in spring take on body of panda."

Ranma looked in disbelief at the giant panda that leaped from the spring onto one of the poles. "You never said anything about that!" he shouted to the guide. The moment of distraction cost him dearly as the Panda leaped to attack, landing a solid kick. The pigtailed martial arts flew through the air landing in a spring in the fare corner of the training grounds.

"Oh no!" the guide exclaimed. "Mister Customer is the first to fall in that spring."

"Growlf?!" came the startled response from the panda. The recently cursed martial artist just seemed to notice his own new condition. He flailed his paws wildly in an attempt to communicate with the guide.

"Mister Customer need calm down." The guide wanted to say more but was interrupted when a large black shape roared from the spring the young mister Customer had fell into.

The panda looked with bugged eyes at what his son had turned into.

The guide shook his head staidly. "Very tragic story. Young mister Customer fell into spring of drowned talking car. Very tragic."

Ganma-panda just kept staring at the car his son had become. The car was black as the night with a sleek design. The car just screamed speed. In the front was a red light that seemed to move from side to side.

* * *

The two goddesses kept staring at the screen. Skuld slowly turned towards her sister. "You turned Ranma into a talking car?" she said slowly.

Urd just shrugged. "How should I have known? You're the one that build that thing. I think it's kind of funny though. Is there a fast forward on this thing?" She started pressing some buttons.

Skuld slapped away her hand. "Would you stop that? Let me operate it. Unlike you, I know what I'm doing."

* * *

Bonk! Crack!

"Whaaaa! That was Shampoos favorite sword!"

Ranma-car just groaned in exasperation. If he would have had a head, he would be pounding it against the nearest hard surface.

"I'm a highly technological car with armor that can withstand bullets. Do you really think a sward would even damage my paint job?"

Shampoo just stared dumbfounded at the car that was addressing her. Her patrol had encountered the vehicle and assumed it was a spy from the nation's people. She turned around and ran screaming.

* * *

Urd laughed her self silly. "This is too much. Let's fast-forward again."

Skuld just sighed and pressed the button.

* * *

"You can't expect us to merry that thing!" Akane screamed.

Nabiki just contemplated the possibilities of a car rental service. Kasumi wondered if she should get some car polish for their new guest.

Soun just stood there bawling his eyes out; the schools would never be joined.

* * *

Fast forward

* * *

"Activating turbo boost."

Akane screamed as the car jumped over the horde of perverts landing in front of the school.

Hiding behind a tree a lone figure holding a bokken plotted to save his love from an obviously demonic possessed car.

* * *

"That was interesting." Urd mused. Let's try something else though." She entered a random entry as the secondary reality.

Skuld just sighed and watched as the machine began to process the request.

… Deactivating current reality cross …

… Clearing memory …

… Ready …

… Reality cross in progress …

… Ready …

* * *

Ranma sighed and leaned backwards in his office chair. He threw the paper plane he had been working on across the room. He was really bored. He hoped there would be a job for him soon. Nabiki was unforgiving when it came to paying the rent on time. He was a bit startled when the phone started ringing. He quickly picked it up.

"Ranma Saotome, hero for hire. Reasonable rates and we accept checks and credit cards. What can I do for you?"

* * *

THE END

Authors note:

Poor Ranma, never knew what hit him. If you know what the second crossover is I used at the end of the story, you'll get a cookie. This was just a comical idea that popped into my brain. I don't have a pre reader at the moment. If you are interested to edit this story let me know.


End file.
